I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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