This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
