Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
