i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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