you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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