Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
