like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
