Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
