Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
my poor anus
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
