I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
