i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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