I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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