is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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