it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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