just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Let's paint friendship bongs
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
