Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
