On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
