Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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