No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
