Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I AM VODKA MAN
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
