You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
