This is the prime rib incident all over again
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
