So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
