Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
