Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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