Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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