I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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