my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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