Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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