I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
