Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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