Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
