last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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