I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
