All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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