Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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