im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
