her vagine was all disorganized.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize