Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
