"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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