I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
