This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
