I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize