i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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