I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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