If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
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