I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize