ADVERTISEMENT

• (843): View more from South Carolina

  plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.

  Fav 69 5342 1013

  share tweet
  

• (802): View more from Vermont

  Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?

  Fav 7 2638 833

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (650): View more from California

  Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers

  Fav 64 9366 1196

  share tweet
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.

  Fav 25 1417 3681

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (314): View more from Missouri

  i don't want you to think of me as your TA

  Fav 26 10449 1694

  share tweet
  

• (509): View more from Washington

  Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint

  Fav 10 1591 5006

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (703): View more from Virginia

  he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman

  Fav 22 4576 2589

  share tweet
  

• (807): View more from Ontario

  Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?

  (1-807): View more from Ontario

  Just flip the mattress, it erases all

  (807): View more from Ontario

  Done and done

  Fav 100 3186 7959

  share tweet
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.

  Fav 16 3876 1252

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea

  Fav 7 2374 1164

  share tweet
  

• (208): View more from Idaho

  at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.

  Fav 1 1739 820

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (716): View more from New York

  Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.

  Fav 3 595 1176

  share tweet
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.

  Fav 0 482 194

  share tweet
  

• (530): View more from California

  I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!

  Fav 1 27 47

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (614): View more from Ohio

  He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes

  Fav 3 20 41

  share tweet
  

Randomize