How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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