I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!