I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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