CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
And then he peed in my hair
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