No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
