Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
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That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
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ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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