I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
