NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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