new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
