They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
