If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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