How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Did I show you my penis last night?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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