why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
