she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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