we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
