I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
